Teens Deserve to Feel Safe in a Relationship
Abuse in relationships happens to more than just married couples. Abuse among young adults and teens is often overlooked or passed off as “puppy love,” but young adults and teens can experience negative effects of abuse, like depression, anxiety, or engaging in dangerous behaviors.
Identifying red flags may be harder for some teens if they have been exposed to dysfunctional relationships of relatives or friends, or those portrayed on television.
It’s important for the adults in teens’ lives to teach and model what healthy relationships look like. Even if they do not approve of the relationship, parents should avoid giving ultimatums and focus on providing support.
Judging teens or speaking negatively about their choices may make them uncomfortable and less likely to talk or share their problems.
It’s important to have conversations with teens about healthy relationships, what it means to feel safe, and how to provide safety in their relationships.
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What safety is… |
What safety is not… |
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Acceptance – Being comfortable being themselves and not changing to fit someone else’s preferences. |
Manipulation – Changing themselves to be loved by a partner, controlling who a person is or what they do. |
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Respect – Valuing and understanding each person’s thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. |
Disrespect – Calling hurtful names, putting each other down, not respecting each other’s thoughts, feelings, or boundaries. |
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Good communication – Being able to share thoughts and feelings. Understanding arguments are normal in relationships and without escalating to name-calling, threats, or violence. |
Harmful communication – Cutting off a partner when speaking, not allowing a partner’s opinions, criticizing, blaming, or ignoring conflict. |
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Individuality – Recognizing that each person values and benefits from time spent alone, with friends and family, and enjoys hobbies or activities outside of the relationship. |
Isolation/Dependency – Expressing jealousy when a partner spends time with friends or family, feeling like they can’t live without the other, not allowing partner to have hobbies or meet new people. |
It can be tough having these conversations, but it will set the foundation for teenagers to gain the understanding that everyone deserves to feel safe, no matter their age.
For more information on teen dating violence and healthy relationships for young adults, connect with the Family Advocacy Program or visit https://www.loveisrespect.org/.